Please pardon the conversational hiatus from blogging. As you will find, I can make it a 'to-do' instead of a privilege. Honestly, I am overwhelmed. With school, support, ministry, Africa, friends and loving a beautiful girl, I easily compartmentalize these blessings in my life as a lofty chore. And the biggest bummer: my relationship with God suffers. Busyness can even make my eternal best friend seem like business.
That is years of being told that I can be something more, better or different. This voice conflicts the 'now' beauty that God sees in me. AND it fogs my own vision. I become temporarily unable to see the beauty that God has placed around me (and in me).
Thankfully, there is another voice. It's Sweeter. "Friend, can we go for a walk? I want to spend some real time together. I love your heart and I want to hear it." Sometime Christ states, "Son, you are doing an awesome job." I love that voice. Jesus even says that when I think I am doing a cruddy job. God's freedom is an invitation that we all can experience.
Freedom. I had a great conversation about that tonight with my great friends, Brian Borton (dude is a stud).
Galatians 5:1, 13 - It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery...You (we) were called to be free. But do not use our freedom to indulge my sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.
1 Peter 2:16 - Live as a free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.
Freedom is opposed to the evil of not serving each other. Indeed, slavery is strictly serving ourselves. Yet, this ethos is linked to everything around us. "Get this self-help book! Get yourself a bigger car. Climb the corporate ladder. Get skinny! You deserve a Golden Goddess or Prince Charming!!!" This is the world we live in.
Conversely, when you hear God's gift to serve each other without compulsion (2 Cor. 9:7), there is a something in our of souls that whispers so softly: "truth"
We are also allowed to scream: TRUTH!!!
And then there is the golden rule: a two-part position with one overarching statement: Love your God with all your heart, soul and strength AND love your neighbor as ourself. According to Jesus, you cannot have one without the other. They are 2 faces to the same coin. Galatians and 1 Peter prove this by using servants of God and servants of your neighbor interchangeably.
So how does this help my predicament (my busyness)? I need to reach out to God with the heart of service. Hearing Jesus' voice, it is no problem to continue the dialogue: "God. Is this activity glorifying you? How can this work serve you? May I use my study or work as a form of worship? God I want this to be a response to the blessings you have given me. God allow these efforts to serve others. Use me to serve you! And... please give me rest in you. I love you with all that I got. Thank you for loving me with more. Amen." Just talking with God gives me rest.
Family, please keep praying for my unbelief. It feels like taking concrete out of my heart. It hurts. Pray for my strength.
I love you all.
Andy
We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems. ~ Howard Hendricks
