Please Pray for these last 6 months. This is priority. I can use prayer for my continuing relationship with God, my marriage, my family and my vocation post-seminary. I appreciate and covet your prayers.
FINANCIALLY:
GIVING BY MAIL
Send a check payable to Flood Church.
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Checks can be mailed to:
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3878 Ruffin Rd., Suite B
San Diego, CA 92123.
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Flood's Website - You can give online through the Shelby site that Flood uses for all online giving:
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Payee = FLOOD, Nickname = Andy Kelly Support
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THANK YOU!
Words cannot express what your support has cultivated in my life and the lives of others. Through your affirmation, I have found a place where my passion for Jesus Christ is completely unleashed. Your support has enabled me to live out my Calling. I am forever in your debt for blessing me with this chance to partake in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
It's raining outside. As I stare out the window ignoring my studies, my mind usually gravitates towards movies, food and surf. However, I am hit with an outrageous almost insane thought (and it still concerns a movie):
My wife Courtney and I love the flick Amazing Grace . It is our favorite "shared" movie. Watching it for the first time in 2006, the movie brought me to tears. It was the first time I heard this sweet quote by Francis Bacon, “It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else and still unknown to him.” But even greater than this, the portrayal of William Wilberforce, John Newton and their shared conviction struck a chord in my heart. But first, let me give some background. It will not ruin the movie.
Despite his birth into the ‘despised’ merchant class, William Wilberforce was able to join the British House of Commons in 1780.He was only twenty-one. As a young and honest man, Wilberforce became torn between politics and the church when he rededicated his life to Christ under the tutelage of John Newton, a repentant monk who is inflicted by his own past as an ex-slave trader.John Newton’s autobiographical song “Amazing Grace” moved Wilberforce in his efforts to envision a day which the British slave trade would no longer exist within the western world.God’s “Amazing Grace” has that effect.
Years earlier, John Newton (b. 1725) was brought up listening to Isaac Watts’ book of hymns.Although his mother cared for him, John Newton’s father, a sea skipper, expressed little love for his son. Thus, Newton lived a double life of morality and sin that would sway like the sea winds he would later navigate. Many of us come from these divided households.Despite contrary belief, even his converted Christian faith experienced this duality when he was a slave trader. Ironically and he would agree hypocritically, Newton had composed the hymn “How Sweet the Name of Jesus” while on these commercial voyages!
Let me restate this. John Newton was converted to Christianity as a slave a trader and remained one for some time. During a storm at sea in 1749, he needed a power that was not his to literally stay the course. Later explained by John Wesley to be experimental religion, Newton grabbed the ships wheel calling for the power of the Holy Spirit.As the Spirit proved His existence, John Newton was compelled to live the Gospel, as it is entirely true.However “still blind,” Newton remained a slave trader viewing his ‘cargo’ as a status lower than a type of animal.As a Christian, he would stuff slaves into boxes six feet long, sixteen inches wide and five feet tall to compensate for a thirty percent loss of life incurred in these two to three month trips at sea.
This is awful, a reminder that we are all corrupt capacities we have, our sins of omission and our constant need of God's grace.
In 1754, Newton was moved to customs officers in Liverpool, England. Here, he became interested in the Methodism, particularly in the social conscious of John Wesley. (Since his visit to the American colonies in 1735, John Wesley viewed slavery as a “horrible crime.”) In 1757, Newton did some theological research. It was a process. By 1763, he recanted his commercial life of slave-trade profit becoming an Anglican priest for the second remainder of his life.
For his sermons, Newton, alongside a melancholy William Cowper, wrote common hymns for the common people.“Amazing Grace” originated from a sermon given on January 1, 1773. Based on David’s response to God’s grace-filled blessings (1 Chron. 17:16-17), it was also the autobiographical testimony of the life Newton lived. Newton related and associated himself with with St. Paul. Both had received undeserved acceptance by God. Both received his Grace. Like the apostle to the Gentiles, John Newton eventually recognized that true religion (James 1:27) was not the unique possession of any particular ethnic and/ or literate group.
In 1779, John Newton moved to the St. Mary Woolnoth Church in London.This was where he converted and subsequently convinced William Wilberforce to combine his Christian principles with his political ideas (1789). As stated above, “Amazing Grace” became the arsenal for Wilberforce’s mission to end slavery in the British Empire.Aided by Prime Minister William Pitt, a small band of radical thinkers and unlikely supporters, Wilberforce annually and resolutely presented his bill for abolition to Parliament.It would take years of opposition, pain and disillusionment before William could carry freedom to the 700,000 slaves in 1833. By 1840, slavery was completely abolished.
The movie Amazing Grace concentrates on the last paragraph above. I felt the back story, the previous paragraphs, was necessary for you if you watch the movie (it's from a history report I did last year). Furthermore, it is also included because it is the impetus for the thought I received while looking out the window. Full circle.
Regarding Newton's anguish, he received God's grace, His unmerited favor. Do you know what God's grace means? Rather than define it, allow me to paint a picture. Better yet, I am going to use imagery borrowed from Brother Lawrence, a 17th century Carmelite monk. I just read about him recently:
Brother Lawrence constantly Practiced the Presence of God. "He felt as if God were taking him by the hand and leading him before the courts of heaven to show everyone the unworthy wretch whom it was His will to shower with Grace.”
No one could argue that John Newton felt like this "unworthy wretch." Again as a young (and foolish) Christian, he would stuff slaves into boxes six feet long, sixteen inches wide and five feet tall to compensate for a thirty percent loss of life incurred in these two to three month trips at sea.
Yet, he recognized this, his wrong, his selfishness, his sin and his separation from the heart of God (even when he knew Him). Newton repented. He turned to God and created a movement that abolished the slave trade. He died a free man.
Now finally, here is the picture.
As Newton died, he walked toward God seeing Him face to face. But before he can embrace his Creator and Redeemer, he is overwhelmed by a dark procession, a celebratory mob. Thousands of hands singing, dancing, hugging, kissing Newton and loving him. They sang Newton's name beautifully. He is their brother.
These folks celebrating are the slaves that died upon Newton's voyages... There are still tears on John Newton's face. Tears of Joy. Tears of reunion. This is my thought as I watch the rain come down.
Make change. Celebrate change. Start inside. Let's be transformed non-conformists (Rom. 12:2). To be a "transformed non-conformists" was the call of Martin Luther King, Jr whom we celebrate this black history month. He received this call from Jesus Christ whom he followed, whom Newton followed, whom you can follow.
Andy
"The question is not whether we will be extremist but what kind of extremist will we be." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go; my own conviction and that of those around me seemed insufficient for the day." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
Ps - Also, check out this rad tune, Zion and Babylon, by Josh Garrels. It gives a great portrayal of humanity and God separated: Recorded. Live. Lyrics.
I spend the entire weekend studying. My demeanor was like that bed-ridden dude from an ol' Hitchcock movie (don't remember the name), but I was actually looking out the window and eventually conspiring about the world around me. That was when I knew it is time for a walk...
Studying itself actually became good time (especially towards the the end). I will miss seminary when it is done (Not now but definitely later...)
Did you know that you and I have intellectual pathways by which we know God? (Some more than others I'm sure.) To state it plainly, there are moments where we can know God by knowing about God. However, we must always be cautious. Let us never completely substitute the latter for the former. That's pharisaic... and even worse, boring.
I understand that God loves me. I live in the full knowledge that he sees me as perfect as Christ with the uniqueness of "Andy." It's incredible. It's amazing. Life changing! But sometimes, it's feels like it's not enough.
You to need to know one thing. I need to pass Greek. (Side Note: Greek is the original language of most of the New Testament. We learn it in seminary so we can read from the fingertips of the original authors of the Bible. It's a pretty rad science of interpretation actually.)
However, if I don't pass Greek this round, I am freakin' stuck at Bethel for another year! That means graduating in June of 2013!!! Just the thought makes me feel like a caged animal... like wolverine right after he receives his admantium skeleton. Snikt!
SIDE NOTE: School really isn't that bad. I have a growing desire to explore God on His and my terms (not seminary's).
Greek. The class is officially "New Testament Greek II." Now, Let's ignore the fact that I "killed" (got an 'A') my last semester in Greek I. Right now, I am struggling. I.e. - I get it, but I haven't gotten it perfectly. And if I don't get it,
A.) I fail the class,
B.) Flood staff thinks I am dumb,
C.) I have to keep looking for support for another year, and
D.) I walk around with a Dunce cap.
These are the toxic tapes playing in my head. You ever hear them?
I care about these supposed expectations on others. There is some self-awareness here because I really impose these expectations on others (whether they are there or not). Other types of toxic tapes that motivate the one's above are:
-Will my wife really not love me if I am school in other year?
-Will I be excommunicated from my position at Flood if I fall behind?
Scary, huh? Now, where is the grace in all of this? I did state that God loves me, right?
Full circle. I know that God loves me. I even receive that love from time to time. And He/They know that I love Him/ Them (Trinity - amazing reality... difficult to explain). Unfortunately, there are times I place these thoughts and consequential expectations before God's love. I tell myself that Flood's approval or my wife's love trump God's concern for me as His child.
When and if I put too much weight in what other people think, I get stuck in the toilet bowl of worry.
I mentioned a few sentences ago those moments that "I receive God's love from time to time." In these mere moments, "worry" becomes a non-issue. Somehow, I don't care about what other's think. And what happens simultaneously in this moment is amazing: Instead, I care about these same people so much, it's almost insane. All of this is flowing in the course of receiving God's love.
I know that God loves me. But when I put other things in front of this love, the truth of God only becomes knowledge instead of reality. Furthermore, the process of living in this reality allows me to really care for others... freely while not being stuck in a pattern of excessively caring about what they think about me.
It's time to plunge this worry clog and receive the love of God. Then, I will flush this Greek class down, baby.
I preached the other day about our view of God as our "Everlasting Father." This one was especially tough for me because there is a person to compare/ contrast God with, my own Dad a.k.a. Pat 'the maniac' Kelly. I love my old man, but next to God, Pat never stands a chance. Nor should he.
And yet, our biological father has a heavy influence in how we view God.
I'm sure you can relate. Each of us have or have had a father whether we knew him or not. And there is much we can attribute from the experience, teaching and witness (or lack thereof) from our "earthly" fathers: compassion, drive, generosity, survival, precision, our love for sports, our love for the arts, our love for building things, etc.
Conversely, there is a lot of pain that we received from many 'dad' experiences: excessive demands, distance, abuse, inconsistencies, etc. Maybe Dad (and Mom) were absent via emotion, physical separation, divorce, workaholism, or death. It's kind of depressing when we consider our need for family and desire for a loving-and-instructing authority figure. Parenthood was, is and will be an imperfect system. God help me and Courtney, literally.
If we conflate our broken view of "dad" with the fact that God who is presented as "Father" 245 times in New Testament, we run the risk of a confusing the two. We can have a God who is loving (sometimes) and at the same time over-demanding, strict, distant, etc. Our imperfect, biological system can corrupt the true image of God. The one that is our forever Father, who not only transcends all time but has the (only) love transcends everything.
By the way, we all confuse our image our God.
Separating our earthly "dad" from our heavenly Father requires some serious intention. Blogging about every layers of this process would be impossible.
But I would like to offer a first step (of healing) for those who may experience anger from our overarching view of father (dad, what have you) and are ready to take some "next steps." Consider it unsolicited advice and proceed only if you agree with it logically and emotionally (if it gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling in your heart and head).
Before we begin, I want to state something about anger. "Anger" is a secondary emotion. Meaning, anger rises from a result of something else, a "primary" experience (i.e. loss, hurt, pain, struggle, injustice, etc). These primary experiences that we received from our broken parents can easily trigger/ ignite our anger. And that anger inevitably leads to blame as it appears to be the natural response and answer to this pain we are experiencing.
But the blame however becomes a epidemic in itself. In the end, blame only enhances the pain that is there.
Moreover, if we go down this rabbit hole of blame (i.e. if we just blame that 'dad' figure), we find that our dad has experienced the same pain. Transferring the blame, our dad can simply blame his dad. And so forth and so on. This rabbit trail ultimately leads back the first father, Adam and he was stuck in his own pattern of blame (See Genesis 3 - Adam instead blamed his wife...).
It is systemic. Because I am a broken dude, my kid (if God provides) will be unpacking the hurt I will cause in his life.
Moreover, we can also blame ourselves. This is scarier. As a result of the toxic tapes received from our father figures (or mother or spouse or boyfriend/ girlfriend or boss or society), we begin to believe them. "We are falling short constantly. We will never keep up." The messages begin to repeat themselves in our own mind but we become the author and recipient.
This inadequacy invites self-blame. The demands that are placed on us become as mandatory as the air we breathe. We continually fall short. "This is where we will remain if we don't get our act straight!" It is a message of hopelessness and the antithesis of the Gospel, the only path that gives entire acceptance despite our actions.
God doesn't want those thoughts in our head. He just wants us, all of us. Furthermore, he wants to know that we are not stuck in some repetitious cycle of 'bad' behavior (as 'validated' by the broken influences surrounding us). This is contrary to the free will He has given and wants for you and I.
The time is now for a huge paradigm shift. So what do we do instead of finding fault with others or our self (time for that "first step" I was talking about)?
Grieve. And grieve well. This will be a process for you and I. If there is a pain that lies awake or dormant in us, this means that there was a loss of something or someone that what we desired, expected to be there and most likely needed.
Example.
I love the the movie Good Will Hunting. Top 5 of all time. Easy (Hence, the random pics thus far).
In this movie, there is an epic scene where Will played by Matt Damon collides with the reality of his broken past in foster homes. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault... It's not your fault" is constantly repeated by Sean (Robin Williams), the realized juxtaposition and needed father figure Will has always been lacking.
Me and my boys love this scene.
The rough exterior that comprises Will eventually breaks down and he begins grieving the pain he experienced as well as the belief that he is a unwanted. He is able and begins to grieve the loss of the parent(s) he desires, all of the physical pain, the emotional hurt and the psychological damage he received. He can grieve the amount of time he believed "it was his fault." He can even grieve his own actions and the false cycle of belief that fueled it. That is the freedom of grief. It points to forgiveness to others and to our self. Grace.
Huge note: it is important to state that in grieving Will (Damon) is able to own his own behavior. In the movie, Will is arrested time and time again for numerous accounts of assault, various misdemeanors and a few felonies. The "it's not your fault" never applies to Will's crimes.
Society may want us to believe that Will was always innocent despite his crimes, but this would actually be the converse to the ending theme of the movie, Will's freedom to choose his own path.
Will knew he was guilty in that moment for what he has done in his past. So did Sean. (He even apologizes as he grabs onto Sean.) However, Will's actions never made Sean's love for him any less. Moreover, it is this shear act of Sean's genuine love that frees up Will. In fact, Will needed to own his own behavior to realize that he was able to leave "Southy" aka his Boston hood, head out to California and "see about a girl." (You gotta love that line.) In short, Free Will.
One must note that Robin William's character Sean plays a key role in this.
Could you imagine an Father with limitless love embracing us in the midst of all of behaviors... even our worst? It can free anyone up. It frees us from blaming others. It frees us from anger. It heals the pain of being separated from that need we desired the most.
Check out this parable: Luke 15:11-32. It paints a picture of God as told by Jesus Christ. Moreover, I also preached about it the other day (as I stated earlier... If you read this far, I am impressed). Please check it the sermon! This father points to the reality that He is the only Father that could ever fulfill us.
He is the God that wants you and I to know that there is something greater inside of us. If you know him, you will know that he says to you and I "This is my Child, whom I love and with you I am well pleased." And if we could only believe it.... It changes everything.
You may feel stuck. I feel stuck at times. Will was stuck, but it was because he believed he was stuck. Before, he chose anger. But after grieving and the relinquishment of the impossible expectations that results, the journey begins. Grieve the pain and celebrate the One who is died for our pain. We can finally celebrate...
If you want to know about this God, explore the New Testament (The book of Luke is a great place to start! Click here!!!). Furthermore, if you want to know God, follow His Son Jesus. "Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you sent."
I love you family! Thanks for reading...
Andy
A child whom is well loved, baby.
"This God is the only context in which our being makes sense. We do not find our true self by seeking self. Rather, we find it be seeking God." ~ David Benner
"To be a follower of Jesus, we enter a process of spiritual growth which becomes a gradual repudiate of the unreal image of God and an increasing openness to the true and living God. In healing our image of God, Jesus frees us from our fear of the Father and dislike of ourselves." ~ Brennan Manning
It has been amazing year on staff at Flood Church! Exclamation point!!! You all have been crucial in it.
God's plan 'A' has always been people. Through your support and our efforts, we have become the "people" who are giving the seekers (and growers) in San Diego a safe, invitational home(s) to know personally who God is. The weekly community groups that I oversee have multiplied, adding 3 in 2010 ... with an additional group launching in January 2011!!! (This will total 10 PC/C groups throughout San Diego county). Every time I am given the opportunity to preach on a Sunday or teach my leaders, I gain key insight into contextualizing and communicating the Gospel in culturally sensitive ways. Most importantly, God has fostered some amazing relationships where seekers, co-leaders, mentors and I are realizing our true identity in Jesus Christ. For instance, to say that we are allsinners is only half the truth. The total truth is that we are all deeply loved sinners. Knowing that we are 'deeply loved' makes the life-changing difference. And I get to be a part of these life changes, baby! Amazing.
The following are some responses I have heard this year from our peeps in the church body*:
-"Your sermon on pornography... It hit home and talked to my heart."
-"I just wanted to thank you for today's message. It was the most personal and practical message about evangelism I have ever heard..."
-"Your message was like an onion because it contained beautiful layers and as you continued to pull the pieces away you uncovered truth, authenticity and at the very core - Christ."
-"Your message touched home for me in a lot of ways- I am working through the challenge of a family of non believers and was encouraged by God's word today."
-"It is clear that you are doing what God has called you to do."
Here is some feedback that I have received from leaders I oversee at Flood*:
-"Andy has the skill to capture your attention, no matter what age or stage of life you are in.... I believe that Andy gets discernment from the Spirit... relying on God's strength and power."
-"His sheer interest and enthusiasm in teaching topics, as well as quick and pointed responses to questions, hold my attention."
-"Andy has the ability to reach and relate to a wide range of people because of his humility coupled with his intellectual capacity."
-It’s very evident that faith in Christ has transformed him deeply, and he genuinely longs for others to experience that love and grace."
And I received one of the best messages from one of my best friends the other day. He simply stated, "Bro, watching you the other day, I totally understand why you do what you do!"My boy is not chasing after Christ just yet. He is what I like to consider a 'Pre-Christian.'
*Please note that this is incredibly humbling to share. The good Lord knows that I am a work-in-process.
As the year closes, I thought I'd remind you all how you can continue to support my graduate internship at Flood Church.
How to Support?
PRAYERFULLY:
Your support has enabled me to experience significant growth in ministry: continuing to facilitate, support, and direct the Post College and Career (PC/C) community groups, preaching, and offering 'enrichments' (or training) for leaders. Moreover, serving in Flood's "New to Faith" ministry has been an additional life-giving step, as evangelism is a great passion of mine.
I was also recently licensed by Flood as a pastor on October 17th ... another exciting milestone to celebrate! Stay 'linked in' (via this blog) to journey with me. I appreciate your words of encouragement, affirmations, questions, and, above all, your prayer!!!
... it is honor to continue praying for you.
FINANCIALLY:
GIVING BY MAIL
Send a check payable to Flood Church.
Please write in the memo line: Andy Kelly Support.
Checks can be mailed to:
Flood Church
3878 Ruffin Rd., Suite B
San Diego, CA 92123.
GIVING ON-LINE
Flood's Website - You can give online through the Shelby site that Flood uses for all online giving:
Through your Bank - You can donate online from your bank by clicking to Pay an Individual (or equivalent).
Under Payee Details
Payee = FLOOD, Nickname = Andy Kelly Support
Address = 3878 Ruffin Rd., Ste. B., San Diego, CA 92123
Phone =(858) 268-2330
Account Number = N/A (check off no account number).
Name on Account = Your Name
Under Payment Details:
Enter the account you want to support from.
Set up a manual or automatic payment
Category = Donation or Miscellaneous
Memo = Andy Kelly's Support
THANK YOU!
Words cannot express what your support has cultivated in my life and the lives of others. Through your affirmation, I have found a place where my passion for Jesus Christ is completely unleashed. Your support has enabled me to live out my Calling. I am forever in your debt for blessing me with this chance to partake in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
In it together,
Andy Kelly
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver ~2 Corinthians 9:7
Part of my internship requires writing weekly curriculum based on the Sunday sermons. I invite you to check out some of these and provide feedback (it reflects Flood's current 2 series through the book of Ephesian's). Anything stated could be beneficial to my growth in writing these (unless you make fun of my Mom):
Heirs: Reclaiming Our Identity in Christ
9/12 Discussion Download (Adoption): PDF 9/19 Discussion Download (Hope & Power): PDF 9/26 Discussion Download (Alive in Christ): PDF 10/3 Discussion Download (One Another):PDF 10/17 Discussion Download (Power of Our Story):PDF 10/24 Download (Experiencing the Trinity): PDF
We Stand: Living out our True Identity
10/31 Discussion Download (Spiritual Gifts): PDF 11/7 Discussion Download (Putting off/Putting On): PDF 11/14 Discussion Download (Imitation): PDF 11/21 Discussion Download (Living in the Spirit): PDF 11/28 Discussion Download (Relating through Christt): PDF
