Gage

My buddy Sean Gage died on Saturday (5/1/2010). He was one of the best friends a man could know. We shared weeks of bloody adventures, nights of steely pints and hours of philosophical ponderings. I have known Gage for a little over a decade. As I have considered his death for the past 24 hours, I have thought much about the life that he gave.

Gage helped keep my spine in alignment when I fell off that balcony years ago. He grieved with me when news came that my cousin Pete had died from a drug overdose. He surfed big waves on his first day out with me. He dropped everything for a friend... a semester class... even a girl. We wrestled, danced on speakers, took the stage, conquered the night and loved the days. The dude is a warrior poet.

I remember a trip we took together on the outer banks. Gage drove 9 hours just to crash my cousin's wedding (who he had never met). It was an incredible weekend. Yeah. Gage was the kind of guy you would write about. I remember writing a poem about him that weekend in North Carolina. The poem is called "two ninjas":

and ye to engage

a battle to begin with feist

before ye turn the last page

discovered, two allies disguised

an irish pillager opposes the pilipino cornerstone

pounding strength against wiry scrap

too fatigued to finish this battle alone

no one was granted the ultimate blow, the last tap

rather “ye two will combat together”

quoted the sky’s wise sage

fight tall, brother with brother

andy – two ninjas – gage

That's grieving for you.

Sean took his own life. I don't want to go into it.

The funeral... tears. When I looked around the sanctuary, I saw so many broken hearts. Sean filled our hearts. He was a gift from God. I thank the Maker that I knew Sean.

It is still so damn hard.

The Porn Identity

I recently preached on the topic of pornography at Flood. My story with pornography is not unlike many. As a sophomore at the University of Delaware, there was a 6-week period where I was going to school, working full-time, and pledging a fraternity. Those memories are filled with heading out 6:30 A.M. and returning back to the dorm at 1 A.M. About a week in, I realized I could partake in a late-night escape from the stress of life on my brand new P.C. The disease Pornography.

I found myself going down a road that would take years to turn around.

Now, it is very easy for all of us to diagnose pornography as a clinical addiction. Although some cases are, pornography is not just an addiction. Pornography is a result of impulsive behavior ("just happened, did out of nowhere"), compulsive behavior (people who range from habitually practicing it, to those who think about it all day to the point that they can’t control their behavior when they go home), and then there is addiction (it controls your life, motivation and vision). There are many causes beneath the act: boredom, needing a high, depression, escapism, masking depression, lack of sleep, marital or relational detachment, low self-esteem and loneliness. And for whatever reason we act on it, we need to acknowledge that there is a problem because it is rampant!

40% And yes, there is a storm of statistics!!! But we are just going to stick to one. Who here goes online (Uh, everyone reading this blog!)? 40% of people that go online are searching for pornography. Now, 40% of that 40%, a little under half, are woman. It’s wild! Now, I want to be careful not to project this statistic on you fine readers but...

After watching CNN the other day, I found out that there are new video games (available online) that are not only filled with racy images but have the “mission” of raping teenage people and their mom’s. What?!

I read this quote: “Porn companies can (and will) capitalize on the latest technological advances because of their deep pockets and the relative certainty that their investments will be returned by customers willing to pony up for their product, experts say.”

Chat rooms are used to create facades of sexual fantasy. Technology is trying to conflate intelligence software with sex dolls to recreate something surreal. And yet, it is not real. In each case, there’s no one real there!!! And yet it is creating real damage.

I read an article in Time Magazine that sociologists and psychologists found direct links between porn and:

• Increased dependency of visual imagery for arousal
• Decreased sexual activity among spouses
• Body issues and behavioral insecurities (men and women)
• Increased divorce rate
• Increased unprotected sex for youth (kids are the largest consumers 12-17)
• Connections with pornography and sexually abusive behavior
• Breach of trust

Whoa! Information overload. Pornography is a real cancer. But instead of me continuing to type, check out the sermon for yourself: The Power of the Pixels.

And let's find healing together in this.

By the way, I preached this with my in-laws in town and it wasn't awkward. In fact, they stood with me while I was up there. Awesome. THAT is another example of God's grace...

AK

Ps - XXX Church has a great website and computer software that provides accountability with online pornography. http://xxxchurch.com/ You partner with a buddy so that he/she can view the websites you are viewing. It paves the way for transparency and honest conversations. This website has brought tightened the bond between me and some fellow warriors who are fighting the good fight.

Dancing with the Parents

Dance Partners,

I have been to a good amount of weddings and yeah, I like mine the best. The one thing that stands out to me in all that I have attended is the Father/Daughter dance and the Mother/Son dance. They are such beautiful displays of the pleasure a parent takes in his or her child. Years of sacrifice that our parents have made and this is one of the most magical moments they share.

I remember dancing with my Mom. I saw the years she spent on me. It was hard at times (I'm sure), but she loved it. She loved giving up her life so that I could run around in the woods with guns made from nailed together 2X4's.

Man, I remember when I had a pretty tough accident a little under a decade ago. I was a child... all hurt up, stuck in the bed and eating blended anything.

Then there was my mom. There is nothing like being in the state of an infant yet having the mind of adult to help you recognize what a parents sacrifices so the child can flourish. It's this sacrifice that lets you know how much you are loved.

My wife Courtney sacrifices. She puts up with me and she serves her friends, our family and the church with her entire heart, time and talent. It's really sexy!!! There nothing hotter than a sweet servant's heart. Her Mom and Pop did an awesome job with this one.

What did I do to deserve sharing life with these women?!

Thank you God!

Dancing with you,

AK

A Perfect Day...

Here is a snapshot of the best day of my life: March 27, 2010. Put it in your calendar. And by the way, the hottie in the white dress is mine.

I think I cry everytime I watch this video.

~AK (with a beautiful CK on my arm)

Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17

Me and my boyz

Family,

I got some buddies that love to get into the "religion" conversation. One claims to be atheist and the other holds to the philosophy of solipsism. Atheism is the belief that that no deities exists. There is nothing outside the external reality of the 5 senses. No God. Survive or be eaten. 'Solipsism' is the belief that one's own mind is all that exists. Everything and everyone else within the rest of the universe are just projections of the 'solipsistic-believing' mind. If you are a solipsist, no other 'real' minds exists other than your own... Whoa. That is intense.

It's key to note that these are both beliefs. Just as my boyz don't have enough faith to be a follower of the Living God, Jesus Christ, I don't have enough faith to be an atheist or a solipsist. Although I can be quite narcissistic at times, I am not solipsistic.

But I love the Hell out of my boyz and I love the Heaven in them. That is the goal: to be there while God continues to work in their lives. The reality is that if I think I am the one who needs to convince them of God's presence, I may very well substitute myself for God's presence. I ain't God. But I am for God, because I know He is for me. That being said, me and my boyz have some great conversations.

We talk about creation. One brother believes that a beautiful sunset is a mixture of light refraction and gaseous combinations. I agree, but I see the gas and light as paint that has the correct amount of shading, highlighting and texture, which ultimately points to a painter who continues to do 'touch-ups' on me.

Another great conversation I had was with a buddy who thinks Christianity is solely for prisoners and no one else. I agree, but I believe we are all in some form of prison. And the only way to be set free is to experience the truth of who we are in Jesus Christ. This is why Stephen Bilynskij states that Christian Faith is "understanding our need for Christ before learning who He is."

Yeah, I love them boyz so much. Isn't it funny how love is a mystery: impossible to explain yet impossible to deny. It reminds me that there is a God to experience and takes the heat off of trying to explain Who He is.

Caution - wet paint,

AK

New Year and New Start...

I am going to start by giving myself a break from writing this month... With one caveat, I really want to lean into what the Sabbath can mean for busy-bodies like you and me. Let's put the work down and go surfing.

Rock on family...

Support - Please consider.

As the Year Closes... It is an awesome opportunity to support your local Flood Grad-intern!!! If you donate before 2010, it is a tax-deduction for your upcoming tax return!

Because of your continued support, we are making a kingdom impact in S.D. (and Malawi) as we:

• Reinforce 7 awesome Community Groups that apply our Sunday messages throughout the week.
• Create and strengthen new groups (This year, we celebrate the birth of the Carmel Valley, Clairemont, Surf & Mt. Helix Groups!)
  
• Embark on Tijuana HouseBuilding Trips.
• Quarterback school/city-wide Shine Day cleanup event for the community of Linda Vista.
• Host a thanksgiving event for our youth AND folks literally off the street.
• Run some rad camps and clinics in Malawi, Africa!
• Preach the name of Jesus Christ
• Say "It's a good day to be alive!"

And the list continues...

How to Support:

1. You can make a check payable to Flood Church.

Please write in the memo line: Andy Kelly Support.

Checks should be sent to:

3878 Ruffin Rd., Suite B

San Diego, CA 92123.

2a. You can give online through the Shelby site that Flood uses for all online giving:

-www.DIVEintoFLOOD.com/give

-Set up a Flood account on Shelby Webview

-Donate to my internship by choosing:

Grad Intern #2.

2b. You can donate online from your bank by clicking to Pay an Individual (or equivalent).

Under Payee Details

Payee = FLOOD, Nickname = Andy Kelly Support

Address = 3878 Ruffin Rd., Ste. B., San Diego, CA 92123

Phone = (858) 268-2330

Account Number = N/A (check off no account number).

Name on Account = Your Name

Under Payment Details:

Enter the account you want to support from.

Set up a manual or automatic payment

Category = Donation or Miscellaneous

Memo = Andy Kelly's Support

This is an awesome opportunity to partner with God in the work he has set before us (Phil. 2:12-13). Thank you for your consideration!!!

I love you and Merry Christmas!!!

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot.

Andy

PS - The pic above is my boy Quinn Hearn painting on Shine Day. He is one of the kids that I live with, a good, crazy little dude. Also, there is a pic of our Post-College TJ trip! Solid crew!!! Check out this below pic from our Flood Halloween Party. The little lady is a tough bird when she gets her spinach, but she treats me right! (She also just threw me an awesome 30th birthday bash!!!) That's my Popeye, baby!!!

Prov. 16:31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.